The Life Left behind
by 8thweasleykid
Summary: Bella's thoughts on how much she misses her friends and family. Revolves around her relationship with Renee. One-shot. Post Breaking Dawn.


**Disclaime****r: I do not own Twilight…thought a piece of Edward would be nice.**

**Summary: Bella's thoughts on how much she misses her friends and family. Post Breaking Dawn Originally I had this broken down into 8 chapters, but decided to turn it into a one-shot. Also there is no exact time line but take place at various points after Bella is changed.**

**Renee**

I knew the day of my wedding that it would most likely be the last time that I would ever see my mother. I remember some of the last words she ever said to me in person, '_You have to visit me and Phil very, very soon'_. They haunted me. It had been two years to the day, and in that time the only communication I had with Renee was over the phone and through e-mails, and in every one of those calls and e-mails she would mention coming for a visit.

It pained me to deny her, to make excuse after excuse as to why Edward and I were too busy to see her. I knew it hurt her, though she would never admit it. I knew she was happy, and doing well in her own life. She was teaching kindergartners again, and she and Phil had talked about adopting a baby girl from China, but despite all the joy in her life I was sure she missed me as much as I missed her. I could hear it in her voice in every phone call.

I did tell her about Renesmee. I couldn't lie to my mother about her only grandchild. I couldn't tell her that my beautiful little girl was simply Edwards niece as we had told so many others, or deny her existence all together, I just couldn't. I did have to lie about her age and birth date, and have been sending her pre-dated pictures of her short-lived infancy. Renee believes her angelic granddaughter to be only three months old. Edward and the rest of the family had agreed to play along with the deception, understanding that Renee deserved to at least know of her granddaughter's existence. Carlisle and Esme were naturally the most understanding.

I hate lying to her, we had always had such an open relationship, and in fact often acted more like sisters then mother/daughter, but I know she wouldn't be able to handle the truth. She should be content living in a sunny climate, loving teaching rambunctious five year olds and spending her free time with Phil and her silly romance or science fiction novels. Yes, Renee is much better off living her simple, uncomplicated, easy going life, never knowing the existence of Vampires, Werewolf's or any other fantastic magical creatures.

I know I shouldn't be thinking of such things, especially on Edward and my anniversary, but its days like these when I can reflect on what a wonderful family I have, that I miss her the most. I have my husband, daughter, my in-laws and brothers and sisters, I've have even been lucky enough to still have Charlie and Jacob in my life, but I still miss my hair-brained, erratic, fun-loving, full of life, wonderful, mother.

And I now I always will, even when she is gone from this earth.

**Angela**

I never really fit in with the kids my age here in Forks, not that I did in Phoenix either, but I have to say, out of all the human people I met, aside from Jacob, Angela was my favorite. The last time I saw her, as it was with so many people I once knew, was at my wedding. We kept in touch throughout the years mostly by letters and e-mail, and occasionally a phone call. She went off to school in Seattle, received her degree in photography, married Ben, who became a real estate agent and they had three kids, two girls and a boy.

She was living the typical American life, and by all accounts she thought I was too. I told her I taught English, and Edward music at the local high school. It wasn't a complete lie, I really I did teach a few classes, when I wasn't playing a high school student myself, and Edward did give piano lessons, at least to our daughter.

I told her about all about by sweet Renesmee and we swapped cute stories about our children's silly antics; and then, as time went on, she would write me about her aging life, her retirement, pains of arthritis, Bens open heart surgery, her children's marriages and the birth of her grandchildren.

And now, seventy-six years since the day I met her I am seeing my old friend in person, as she lay motionless in a velvet lined coffin. Her wrinkles and liver spots, showed everyday of her ninety-three years and part of me grew jealous. She was able to experience things out of life that I never will; a long career, living in the same home for over fifty years, having friends over for dinner, or even taking a stroll in a park on a sunny day.

I will truly miss my shy, kindhearted friend, and every time I see a tall, girl with brown hair and brown eyes , eagerly taking pictures at everything she see's I will think of Angela.

**Jessica**

I never really understood Jessica. She was, essentially my first friend, aside from Jacob, in Forks. Although she was always a bit of a chatterbox, she honestly seemed like she enjoyed being my friend, even with Mike's constant attempts to win my attention. She always had it pretty bad for Mike, and for the year and a half I was at school with her, the two had a shaky on again off again relationship.

We had a bit of a falling out when I went into my depression after Edward left. Not that I could blame her for getting upset at my reckless behavior, I wasn't handling it well and acted, well stupid if I was completely honest with myself. Still, unlike Angela she didn't even attempt to be compassionate about it, but I suppose that's just the way she is.

She and Mike really would have fit perfectly together.

One day, years after we left Forks, I had been looking through my old year books and I came across the inscription she had written in my book our senior year.

_Good Luck, Bella. And thanks for the invitation to your and Edward wedding. I'll be sure to send you one when Mike and I get married._

I couldn't help but laugh as I read it. I never received an invitation and from what I understand Mike ended up moving to California to play college football. Jessica married Tyler Crowley a few years after they graduated, their marriage didn't even last two years.

She married twice more before finally settled down with an account from Pittsburg, she never had children, which personally I think is a good thing, I could never see Jessica as the maternal sort.

Edward once told me that Jessica's thoughts towards me were actually quite rude, and that she had only befriended me to share in her attention. I didn't want to believe him, but Edward wouldn't lie to me, especially about something like that, but truthfully I would have been happier never knowing.

I am glad for the friendship I had with her. She was the first person to make me feel welcome in a new strange school, and she told me about the Cullen's and Edward. So despite any harsh fellings I may now feel for her, I am glad that I got to know her and that at one time I did consider Jessica Stanley my friend

**Eric Yorkie**

I never knew quite how to describe Eric Yorkie. He was, in some way's the typical chess-club geek with oily hair and bad skin, but he was also incredibly helpful and seemed to be connections inside and outside the school that could get you anything and everything you might need for any certain event. He was in essence an amazing go-to guy. He, as did several other boy's had a bit of a crush on me, and had even asked me to the spring dance. I of course declined and he ended up going with Angela.

That relationship didn't last of course, but you can imagine my shock when watching the news one day I see my former classmate on the arms of a very attractive red-head. He was accompanying her to the opening of her new movie. I couldn't help but give a rather loud 'you go Eric' cheer. He had gone into the IT field, and before even graduating with his bachelors he had made millions with an online dating system: _Girls for Geeks, _in which he matched up over-achieving dateless guys with the supposed 'perfect mate'.

I had to hand it to him, it was rather ingenious.

It was three days later that I actually received a phone call from him. How he was able to get my unlisted number or found out where I was currently living was beyond me, but that was just Eric, he had connections. He told me he was going to be in town the following week and asked if we could meet for coffee and catch up on old time, he even suggested I bring Edward. I was actually half tempted to agree, but I couldn't, he probably wouldn't recognize me, and even if he did he would end up asking too many questions. So I politely declined.

He died a month later in car accident.

Life is quite ironic like that. One minute you are on the top of the world and then next…

He was survived by his parents and younger brother, the girl on his arm at the movie opening turned out to be his cousin.

His internet dating agency is still going strong, his brother took it over for him, so at least it stayed in the family. Edward had suggested signing Emmett up as a joke, Alice quickly squashed the idea when she explained the vision she had to Rosalie's reaction.

So we decided to sign up Jacob instead.

**Mike**

Mike Newton was always a good buddy to have. He was always good at getting a laugh, and giving you a complement when you were feeling down. He had that 'boy next door' sort of look about him, blond hair blue eyes, and a cute sort of 'baby face'. I had always thought Mike would take over his parents sporting goods store, and marry Jessica, as I'm sure a lot of people did, but as well all know, things don't always quite turn out the way we expect.

I actually saw him, once, sixteen years after I was changed. Edward, Renesmee and I were in JFK airport sitting out a lay-over, when I caught sight of his pale blond hair. He was sitting with a couple of other guy's all of which had on black and white Raiders Jackets.

"Edward." I leaned in a whispered in his ear. "That's Mike Newton, right?"

I was almost a hundred percent sure that was in fact him, but I had caught glimpses of people I had mistaken for old friends before. Wishful thinking, on my part.

Placing the book he was reading in his lap he looked in the direction I pointed, and after a few second he chuckled. "Oh yes, that's him. He was telling his friends that you remind him of this girl he used to know."

"Really?"

"Yep, though he's exaggerating your relationship just a bit."

Laughing I shook my head. I guess he never out grew that crush he had on me. "So, same old Mike."

"It's would seem that way."

Mike never married, but did have a son though one of his relationships, or so Emmett the sports fanatic that he was, had heard on ESPN one night. Mike played quarterback for the Oakland Raiders for nearly a decade before being traded to 49ers where he simply road out his contract and then retired from Professional sports.

I don't really think of Mike as often as I do some of my other friends, I'm not sure why that is really, but when Emmett watches a raiders game or I find myself in JFK, the baby-faced boy with blond spiky hair, most always comes to mind.

I don't exactly know what became of Mike after he left football, but I do hope that wherever he is, that he is happy, enjoying his life, and still making people laugh.

**Tyler**

I have always been grateful to Tyler Crowly, if it wasn't for him almost killing me with his van, I may never have gotten the chance to truly know my Edward. If Edward hadn't saved me, pushed the van away with his bare hand, I may never have become overly curious, and researched the 'cold ones,' or confronted him about my suspicions. And because I did not push the subject he may have never told me the truth, and in that he cared so much for me, wanting to do what he believed was the best thing and save my humanity, he may have left Forks with the rest of his family; and as much as it may have pained him, he would have carried on with his existence alone, without his mate, and I would have never known the eternal bond that he and I share.

This is all speculation of course, it may have all worked out regardless, but I can't help but play the 'what if's' out in my mind.

Tyler, ironically enough, became a professional racecar driver. He married, well re-married (after the failed attempt at marriage with Jessica), he had a few kids, and overall had a long and happy life. I wish I could have thanked him personally. That I could have told him I owe my husband, my daughter and my extended family to him. Since that would have been impossible, in gratitude, every year I purchase four tickets to the Indy 500 and donate the tickets to a local charity.

I did attend one of his races, it had been announced that Tyler was retiring at that it would in fact be his last professional race. So, I went with Edward and Renesmee, and since I had an extra ticket, I invited the biggest sports fanatic in our family, Emmett.

He took second place on his last race, and as his friends and family congratulated him with hugs and handshakes at the finish line, I wished terribly I could have been one of them.

Thank you Tyler, for everything.

**Phil**

I always liked Phil. He was an overall nice guy, had a good sense of humor, and above all he loved my mom and made her happy. He had known going into the relationship with Renee that she had a teenage daughter and that he was actually closer in age to me then her, but it didn't bother him in the slightest. Not that he ever treated me like a daughter, more like a close friend or cousin. He would give me advice if I asked for it but never invaded my life and pretty much let me do as I pleased. He knew that he would most likely never have children with my mom, or live an average suburban life with her, but that wasn't his style anyway. He was just as much of a free thinking spirit as she was.

A couple of years after I had been changed he wrote me a letter. Not an e-mail or a text, and an actually hand-written letter and as I read the heartfelt words that filled the paper, I would have cried all over it if I could have. He expressed how much he and my mother missed me, and that they simply didn't understand how I could abandon them the way I had. He went on to say that he was writing this because he knew Renee never would, that she could never bring herself to admit how deeply she had been hurt. He pleaded with me to come to Florida, if only for the weekend.

Oh course I didn't go. I couldn't. There would be too many questions I simply would be able to answer. I considered writing him back, but never brought myself to do it. I doubted he would have wanted to hear my pathetic excuses anyway.

It was sixteen years from the day that I received Phil's letter I received a phone call from my mom. Phil, had been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. She begged me to visit. She needed me, although she didn't say it outright I could sense it in her voice. Renee was never good with things like this, with drama and tragedy. Phil was what held her together most of the time, and I knew there was no way she could go through this alone. So I called her and told her I was coming to visit and that I was bringing Renesmee. She had stopped aging years ago but could easily pull off the seventeen years Renee believed her to be.

Before I hung up, Phil got on the line. His only words, "it's about time", and he laughed before handing the phone back to my mom.

**Renee and Phil**

Her mouth had dropped open slightly, and she blinked in rapid succession before letting out a small gasp of surprise.

"Bella?"

"Yeah mom, it's me."

Without hesitation she pulled me into a tight hug. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, mom."

Her eyes then moved to Renesmee who was standing beside me. My daughter smiled, and gave a soft, 'hello grandma'.

Renee grinned widely at her only grandchild. "Your pictures do not do you justice." My daughter gave a small giggle at the complement, a slight tinge rushing to her cheeks.

Turning back to me she raised her eyes brows in a questioning look. "You going to share you secret with me, aren't you."

I panicked slightly, my eyes darting to my daughter. Did she know? If so, how?

"Secret?"

"Jesus Bella, you look at least ten years younger than you really are, and your complexion…its flawless. Are you using some sort of all natural face cream?"

I took a breath of relief and nodded. "Something like that."

She showed us into the front room where Phil, who was adorned in his baseball hat, the lack of hair underneath still very obvious, was sitting in his favorite recliner. He was just as surprised at my appearance as Renee. "Wow Bella, you've defiantly aged well."

I noticed Renesmee bite her lip to stop from laughing.

"Yes, well I get it from my mom."

Renee snickered. "Please. I think the perfection that is Edwards family has somehow rubbed off on you." She wasn't far off with that, too bad she was only joking.

For the next couple of hours we simply chatted, catching up on what we missed in each other's lives, I tried my best to steer the conversation away from me, that however meant poor Renesmee got the brunt of it, including having her grandparents dive into her personal life.

"So, Nessie,' I still didn't like that nick name, but everyone used it, and would seem my mother had decided to as well, 'you're a very pretty girl, I'm sure you get all kinds of attention from the boys."

My ever shy daughter blushed and I couldn't hold back a laugh. "Oh she most assuredly does."

"Though having a severely over protective father does tend to keep most of them at bay." My daughter added.

"Well, except for, Jacob." I just had to add that little bit in.

"Jacob?" Phil asked curiously. "Who is Jacob?"

She cleared her throat before answering honestly. "My boyfriend."

"Boyfriend, well, then we must hear all about him."

My daughter happily obliged for she would openly tell anyone and everyone how amazingly perfect _her_ Jacob was.

It was later that night when Renesmee and Phil had gone to bed that I stayed up in the kitchen talking with my mom.

"They say it could be anywhere from a month to a year. The Chemo…it isn't doing much and… he-he's just so tired all the time."

Her eyes quickly began to tear, and I just as quickly took her in my arms. "It's okay to cry mom."

"I just love him so much." She said through the sobs.

"I know, mum, I know."

We stayed for another three days, Phil's cancer wasn't brought up after that night in the kitchen. I told Renee to call me and that I could be back in Jacksonville in a flash if need be. Our goodbyes were happy and I promised to visit soon, and I truly had planned to.

It was three weeks later that I got the call. Phil had died, but not of his Cancer, they had been in a car accident, blindsided by a drunk driver. Renee was on life support and wasn't expected to make it. I once again made the trip to Florida, this time with Edward by my side.

I had never wanted to cry more in my existence that I did the moment I entered my mom's hospital room. She was bruised and broken, and hooked up to several different machines, one of which was the only thing keeping her breathing. I had been tempted, briefly to change her so we would never have to be apart again, but I knew she wouldn't want that. Phil was the love of her life, and I knew any existence without him would be unbearable for her. So I said my final good-byes and then gave the doctors permission to unplug the life support.

It was moments like that, watching the breath of life being taken from my loved ones that I sometimes second guessed if I had made the right decision in becoming immortal. I gave up so much when I became a vampire: a normal life, my old friends, even a real relationship with my parents, but then I think of all I gained: my husband, daughter, my extended family, even Jacob, and I could never regret that.

It is said that when you become a vampire you begin to forget your human memories, but I don't think that's true. I know I could never forget my parents or any of my friends from Forks, I know because I never want to. Their influence in my life helped make me who I am today and I could never unjustly erase their memories in such a way.

Thank you mom, dad, Phil, Angela, Jessica, Eric, Mike and Tyler. Thank you for the time I had you in my life, thank you for the laughs and the tears, the up's and the down's; thank you for all of the wonderful memories. I will cherish them for all eternity.

_**THE END**_

**A/N: I wrote this thinking of how hard it would be for me to suddenly stop having my mom in my life. I may or may not plan to continue this. If I do, it will be a serious of one shots of Bella's thought on several of her friends and family.**

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